10 ways to feel more confident

Recently being on holidays has given me the opportunities to sit around in coffee shops, perusing a few old womens magazines. I’m surprised by how many times the concept of “self-esteem” comes up between the pages. The cover of one magazine loudly proclaims that it would teach me “10 ways to feel more confident and naked.” The ideas in the magazine, however, are hardly consistent, bouncing between extremes.

One extreme is the idea that the modern woman must have such confidence in herself that she may be whoever she wants to be, regardless of what others think, and able to accomplish whatever she wishes to undertake.

On the other hand, the magazines are filled with tips on how to get the latest look in order to impress, attract and court the admirations of those around, usually with advices on how to imitate supermodels and celebrities in their exercise and skin care regime. These articles often end with various forms of statements asserting that by following these tips the modern woman can somehow boost her self-esteem.

Surely, having better skin must make me feel better about myself? And if I really do manage to arrange that complicated hair-do and make it stay on my head intact through a dinner party, I must deserve to feel superior over all my fellow human beings?

I guess the answer to that really depends on what is the basis on which I judge myself.

If my self-esteem is based on my looks, yes, I’d be desperate to make sure I look my best every single day. And yet, that would be a dangerous thing to base my self-esteem on, would it not? My youth and beauty (if there was ever any) is destined to fade away eventually, even as the evidence of aging comes before me every day.

It’s the same if I based my self-esteem on my intellect. I have to admit I’m not like ten years ago, when I could stay up all night studying for an exam and be razor sharp the next day for the test. No, nowadays I’d be hard pressed to remember something I read yesterday without a full eight hours of sleep.

If I based my self-esteem on my significant relationships, that is extremely dangerous and makes one very vulnerable, as testified to by numerous tragic relationship break downs I witness around me.

It would be unwise indeed, to base our self-esteem anywhere but on a rock solid reality – the love of God, our creator.

“O LORD, you have searched me and you know me… Before a word is on my tongue, you know it completely, O LORD…” (Psalm 139:1,4)

God knows me intimately and completely, more than anyone knows me. He made me exactly the way He wanted me to be. He knows me with all my inmost thoughts, my secrets, my desires – I cannot cover up my ugly parts in front of Him. And yet God loves me for who I am. He proved that He loves me by giving his son to die for me.

When the God of this universe says to me – “You are worth loving, to the point of my death” – I know that I am a valuable being indeed, and nothing will strip me of this certainty.

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